


choosing my confessions

by casualbird



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Self-Denial, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 13:28:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17726063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casualbird/pseuds/casualbird
Summary: "It was merited, the thousand-cut silence. It was a function of chivalry."Frederick has fallen in love and can't pull himself back out.





	choosing my confessions

Frederick said nothing when Chrom knocked the lance from his grip, grinning like a dog retrieving a stick. Said nothing when Chrom clapped him on the back, the aperture of the world narrowing to Chrom’s calloused fingertips grazing his shoulders. Nothing when the moon was setting, when Chrom let his cheek lay on the cool vellum of the battle map, rasping that he could never hack this without old Frederick. Old friend.

It was merited, the thousand-cut silence. It was a function of chivalry. Never press, never make a lady feel unsettled. Frederick’s mentor had branded his brain with that. It served for a general precept; it must’ve applied the same to men. Even more.

He kept himself stiff as the collars of his shirts, built a scaffold ‘round his heart so it wouldn’t crack when he’d breathe and bow and say nothing but _my lord._

Sometimes in the dark he thought it might be worth it, worth unlacing the stays around his throat. Spilling tangled emotions that have stewed so long they cannot be sifted apart. Coughing his heart into his hand, offering it up.

Then Chrom could slap it away, could laugh, and this might someday be over.

**Author's Note:**

> I love Frederick very much, and promise someday to make him happy. Clearly not today, though.
> 
> Title from R.E.M.'s 'Losing My Religion,' which is the greatest unrequited love song of all time. I will die upon this hill!
> 
> If you feel so inclined, why not hang out with me on [dreamwidth?](https://casualbird.dreamwidth.org)


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